Neptune Landing

      Through high school, college and my shamanic studies, I was a mediocre student. It's not that I didn't have the interest or the capacity to learn but it seemed like what was lacking was the military expression of high expectations: from my teachers, from my fellow students, and, from the worst offender, myself. Maybe the environment, for a combination of reasons, wasn't conducive for high expectations; maybe I just lacked drive for years as my missing soul parts were treading water, looking for a home. My experience at Berkeley has helped change the narrative. More specifically, literature, which I am studying, has helped change my self-talk, my self-narrative; has given it a makeover, with a syntax fresh and a pool of vocabulary that is gleaming and cool. And a voice that is less afraid.       For years, I had always wanted to apply to an MFA in Creative Writing. Google Excel Spreadsheets attest to that fact; I had color-coordinated boxes denoting schools with their

The mood of California has soured since the presidential election. In the city, especially, the vibe has become toxic; it's like a hostile masculinity has taken hold. Drivers once refrained from honking their horns in San Francisco but now it's all you hear. The road rage is palpable; swearing, fights, the raising of middle fingers — the city has become more crowded, more unequal and less peaceful. I was threatened on the #6 bus for looking gay and meekly tried to calm my assailant down (in retrospect, I'm glad I was cautious because you never know if someone is carrying a weapon, especially after what transpired in left-leaning Portland last week ). The belligerent words and actions of the cretin occupying the White House doesn't help matters. We can all agree that America has become even more racist, hateful and deeply divided or maybe it's been that way all along and everyone just feels free to express it more. Beyond the country's troubled spirit, histor